Wow, what a terrible week it has been, and not just for me but for a close friend of mine, also. Monday morning my mother flew off the handle at me and it ended with both of us saying a lot of things we didn't mean, but it hurt just the same. Recently, relations between her and I seem to be degrading, for almost every conversation ends in a fight. I spent that morning at school in the bathroom until 8:07 when the first period late bell rang. I went to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall so no one would see me cry. That's pathetic, huh? Guys are never supposed to cry and there I was hiding in the bathroom to hide my shame, tears running down my face. Which brings me to a good question: Why aren't guys supposed to ever cry? I don't know the answer, I just wish that people didn't think that as soon as a guy shows emotion, he is gay. Normal guys have feelings, too. Why can't I, a normal guy, cry when I hurt? Where is the justice in this world? To continue on, my entire day was crap. That evening I found that one of my best friends was fairing even worse. His mother threatened to commit suicide and was placed in a mental ward. She will be released on Friday, but what caused her to say what she did? Why would anyone want to take their own life? Tuesday was uneventful except for the fact that it rained during lunch, and that was depressing, because as a high school student, I have to eat lunch in a stuffy cafeteria. Except on days that it doesn't rain. On days that it doesn't rain we can go out and eat in the courtyard outside, which is much better that eating in the cafeteria. My friends and I are die-hard courtyard lunchers. Even though it was close to fifty degrees outside this entire week, every day, excluding Tuesday, we went outside to eat lunch, dressed in nothing more than blue jeans and hoodies. It is comical because our one friend enjoys the outside but shivers a lot when it gets cold, so he would shake so much that the entire table would quake. Tuesday night I went and worked at my one job, and I spent the entire night bending steel sheets into trays. Boring and repetitive work, except that I had two of my best friends helping me to do it, and with those two guys, any conversation can be hilarious. Wednesday was so boring that I do not even remember it, but Thursday was more exciting. My graduation project proposal was due that day and I had forgotten to do it. So that morning, I hurried up and typed a proposal that need to be handed in two periods later. It was close, but I got the thing typed and handed in on time. For those of you who are interested, I am painting my youth room blue and silver for my senior project. That night I went to play pool with some friends and stayed up playing pool and telling stories well past eleven. Friday, I went to a hit-and-miss engine show in Coolspring. My favorite thing there was a working scale model of a six cylinder gasoline engine. It was only about six inches high and a foot long, but it was impressive because it really worked. I guess that the guy who built it had way too much time on their hands. But now that I think about it, don't I probably have too much time on my hands too? It does take a lot of work to maintain a website. I Friday was uneventful except for the fact that I had a conversation with a girl that I desperately want to go out with. I had an opening to tell her my feelings but I didn't take it. Why am I so weak? I know that I have low self-esteem and a fear of rejection but it shouldn't be impossible for me to ever ask a girl out, should it? I feel so pathetic, I have never had the guts to ask a girl out without her friends prompting me. Why am I so spineless? I wonder if I will ever get past my fear and ask a girl out. I hate myself. Saturday was pretty normal for me. I slept late and watched some good old healthy cartoons. Is it normal for a high school senior to watch Saturday morning cartoons? Later, I washed and waxed my car. My car is a 1995 Volkswagen Golf, and while it may seem old and plain, it is a monster under the hood with a four cylinder engine and15 horsepower, which doesn't seem like much on its own, but the car only weighs 3,000 pounds so it is very light and it can get up and go just like any other sports car can. The speedometer goes up to 140 mph, and I know that the car can do it. Well then that is enough about me for this week so this is LuckyS7ven signing off.
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